


Broken hearts

by Constellalune



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Hurt/Comfort, I still suck at titles, Kieran is hurt, Kisses, Lauki - Freeform, Lauren Sinclair - Freeform, and sad, and summaries too, but i tried, but whats new, idk how to write kisses, issa sad life, kieran white - Freeform, lauren is in love but doesnt want to admit it, making our sorta idk, my brain is d e d, shes stubborn like that, they are my babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26547214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constellalune/pseuds/Constellalune
Summary: And even though he thinks he doesn't deserve her,And even though she believes she hates him,They need each other; they are one,And they will always,alwaysstay.------------I swear it's better than the crappy summary and title (I'm pretty sure this is the worst title i could've ever come up with but my brain is a lil dead and i cant think ): )
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair & Kieran White, Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57





	Broken hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Im not sure how to feel abt this one.

_He stands before the dark-haired lady, eyes so similar to his but they did not have the shine his had._ _“M-mum?” Kieran asks, tears blurring his vison._

_When was the last time I cried?_

_She reaches out to touch his cheek, her fingers caressing his cheekbones, “Yes, Kieran, my darling, it’s me.”_

_Tears flow down his cheeks like a waterfall and he hugs her tight, the sun light falls on them and the birds chirp, “Mum. Mum. I missed you so much.”_

_Kieran sobs in her shoulder and she threads her fingers in his hair, “I missed you too, baby. But I must confess…”_

_He pulls away from her, still holding onto her hands, unwilling to let her go, afraid she will disappear just like everyone else, “What is it, mum?”_  
_Her face darkens all of a sudden, her smile drops and the birds no longer chirp, “I am disappointed in you, son.”_  
_He frowns, “W-what do you mean?”_  
_She snatches her hands from him, “I shouldn’t even call you ‘my son’. How can I have a… a monster as a son?”_  
_Kieran’s stomach drops and his features fill with hurt, “But I-“_  
_“A murderer, one who has killed so many, the most fearsome assassin. How am I supposed to feel even the slightest bit of pride, Kieran?! How?” She’s crying now, “I wish I never had you, I wish you were not my son-_  
_“I wish I never gave birth to this monster!”_

Kieran gasps, opening his eyes, sweat dripping down his forehead. No tears, no, not yet. He sighs and places a hand over his heart. 

It hurt. 

It hurt so _damn_ much, and he hated that it did. 

\----

The nightmare is tattooed in his head. It had never ever been this bad, and he had never seen his mother in his dreams, this was the first time. He lies saying that he is sick and stays back at home instead of going to the precinct despite knowing it would only anger the leader. 

Kieran sits on his couch and blankly stares, he couldn’t think, he didn’t understand why this is affecting so much. 

Because his mother said it? 

He didn’t know but all he knew was that it hurt. 

\--------

She is worried. 

She doesn’t understand why he hasn’t shown up. Just because of a cough and cold? That’s very unlike him. She hates that she worries, she hates him for making her worried, how dare he- how dare that filthy little bastard make her worry? 

Lauren clenches her fists that rest on her desk, right next to her paperwork. She finally makes her mind up and decides to visit him after work and deal with his stupid ass then. 

She tries convincing herself that he’s okay. 

She tries convincing herself that she’s thinking about his health only because he is an asset to her. 

She tries not thinking about him at all. 

_(It doesn’t work.)_

\-------

Lauren taps at his door and she waits for a good 5 minutes, and she frowns. She taps louder and harder, and realizing he probably isn’t there, and most likely at the cave, and although things had settled a little between the two, she did not dare enter the cave. Just as she was about to leave, he opens the door. 

Her eyes meet a sleep deprived looking Kieran. His hair is messed, the eyebags under his eyes literally drag on the floor, and his eyes didn’t have the usual shine they had in them. 

“Oh, officer.” 

Lauren cocks her head to a side as she watches him zone out, and she snaps her fingers. He shakes his head and looks at her with eyes wide and he attempts to smirk, but somehow- it came out sad, “Are you going to stand out and freeze to death, officer?” 

“Hmmm, no.” 

She invites herself in and watches as he walks to the stove and continues to stir something. He doesn’t say anything and she watches him, her anger amplifying. 

How dare he worry her and make her show up at his house and then say nothing just how- 

“Okay, can you tell me why the hell you didn’t come to work?” 

He chuckles, “Is that worry I sense?” 

She growls, clenching her fists hard. 

_Why is this even making me angry?_

“Just answer the damn question, Kieran."

He suddenly stops as if in realization and turns to look at her. His mind swirls around understanding. Of course, he knew exactly why she was here. She thought he was going on another blood bath. She thought he was going to kill so many people. Again. 

_“You are nothing but a monster!”_

 _“I’m disappointed.”_

_“I wish I never gave birth to you.”_

_“Just how heartless are you?”_

_“I wish I never gave birth to this monster!”_

He switches off the fire and leans against the counter staring blankly at the floor. Lauren frowns, “Hey, Kieran, what’s wrong?” 

He doesn’t respond. 

“Kieran!” Lauren walks to him and grabs his arm, “Snap out of it! What the hell is going on with you?” 

Kieran looks at her sadness, hurt, guilt, his face covered in it all. But soon it all fades and he is emotionless. 

“Kieran, Kieran. Snap. Out. Of. It!” 

To her shock, tears fill his eyes, her eyes dilate. 

She speaks to him softly this time, “Kieran… what’s wrong?” 

He slides down to the floor, he can’t focus, he just sees his mother, oh the mother who he loved so much. Did she really hate him that much? Her only son? 

_Why does everyone hate me?_

_Because you are a monster. She replies._

Lauren holds onto the sides of his face and makes him look into her eye, “Kieran.” “It’s me, Lauren.” 

“Lauren?” He gasps, “No, no, Lauren, go, go. Please, you must.” 

Kieran says and his tears are slipping down his face, “I will hurt you, please go.” 

“I’m not going, Kieran.” She says surprising both him and herself, “you are clearly not okay, I am not leaving you.” 

“Lauren… I’m a monster. Monsters hurt people, am I wrong?” 

Her heart breaks, she does not understand why, she does not understand many things. 

But all she sees in front of her at that moment is a human. A sad, sad, broken, vulnerable human, and she shakes her head, “You’re not, you’re not, Kieran. Is this what this is about?” 

_You are monster._

_A monster._

_How could I have been friends with a monster?_

_Why would I partner with a monster?_

_I can’t believe I gave birth to a monster._

_You are nothing but a monster._

_You. Are. Nothing._

He is shaking all over now, why does it hurt? Why does it hurt so goddamn much? Lauren says something but her voice is muffled, and he can’t see her, his tears blur his vision. 

She holds onto him now as he sobs, she isn’t sure what to do. She never thought she would ever see him cry considering how much he hid and kept to himself. And in that moment she realizes, 

_He is all alone._

_He has no friends, no family._

_He is all alone only his guilt and self-hatred that welcomes themselves to him everyday in a warm embrace._

Her heart aches for him and she wraps her arms around his shoulders and brings him close to her, and he grasps onto her arm and he doesn’t understand what’s happening. He is panicking. 

“Mum, mama, please, please, please come back to me,” He sobs, and all Lauren can do is caress his hair realizing he can’t hear anything she’s saying, “Please don’t leave me. Not like everyone else.” 

Kieran is devasted. He watches as his mother sobs and points fingers at him blaming him for everything and he accepts, he does not deny. 

“Shh..” Lauren caresses his hair, “Kieran, listen to me, _listen_ to me.” 

He does not. He buries his face in her arm and he’s crying so much, and now he has learned his lesson, he has held in for so, so long, and finally, six years of no tears or crying, six years of bottling up, all of it coming out. 

He calms down a little but she does not stop stroking his raven locks, she doesn’t realize she is crying herself, she hates seeing him like this, she hates how broken he is and all she wants is to make him feel better, at that moment, that is all she desires. 

Kieran leans his head against her chest and listens to her pulse, and slowly his tears comes to an end; he is still unsure of what just happened, he does not understand why it hurts so much. Actually, there is a lot he doesn’t understand. 

Like why Lauren Sinclair stayed with him. 

She _stayed._

She didn’t go. 

He hears her heartbeat and he calms down, she is alive and with him. 

“Lauren…” He whispers, “You should’ve left, you have to go.” 

“No. I’m not leaving you,” She says, her voice soft, kind, “What’s wrong, Kier?” 

“I… I want my mum.” His voice breaks and she holds him tighter, “Lauren, I want my mum.” 

Tears slip down her cheeks, he looks like a broken, broken, little boy, “Okay, where is she?” 

“I don’t know. But that’s okay… besides, who, which mother would ever want…” Kieran pauses, “Which mother would want to see her son a monster, am I right?” 

“You are completely wrong.” Lauren says and makes him look at her, her eyes filled with tears, “You have no idea how wrong you are.” 

She caresses his cheekbones and brings her lips to his forehead, “You are human.” 

His heart flutters, “You’re wrong.” 

“You are, subordinate.” She brings her face away from his to smile, “You are completely and utterly wrong.” 

“You…” He says and leans forward to trace her jawline, he lightly touches her cheekbones and his fingers fall on her lips and he caresses it, “I… I don’t deserve you, do I?” 

A tear of hers falls on his face, “Shut up, Kieran, just shut up.”

“Lauren…” He whispers, “I want to kiss you.”

“Okay.” She leans in a little, not aware of what she was doing. 

“But I don’t deserve it.”

“And what if I said I wanted to kiss you?” Their noses brush against each other and he looks at her face, the sadness in his eyes never leaving but there was also desire; a want, a need. 

”Then I’d say you’re lying.”

Her lips brush against his, “And then I’d call you an idiot.”

She presses her lips against his, and it felt so right, it was so wrong but in this moment, this is all she desires, she wants him, she wants to rid him of his sadness, she wants him to be _happy._

The kiss was supposed to be chaste, it was supposed to last a second, she would let go, hug him and tell him it was alright, but, really, when does the story ever go as it is supposed to? Lauren can’t let go, she doesn’t want to, he doesn’t either. He hates himself for what he is doing but it’s also making him feel better so he decides to enjoy it when it lasts because he knows she would never do it again. 

She threads her hands in his hair and he has his hand on her back, bringing her so close to him, you can’t differentiate them. She finally lets go and looks at him, her eyes filled with lust, and his too, complete and utter desire because they had been holding back for so, _so_ , long. 

Kieran strokes her cheekbone, “Thank you. For staying.”

She kisses his eyelids, his cheeks, his forehead and finally his lips, which lasts a little longer, “I will never, _ever_ leave you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hehe, i hope you enjoyed it. Im genuinely curious to know what kieran's family was like, i just made his mum a lil evil bc LAUREN HAS TO COMFORT HIM. I just wanted soft lauki, that's all. I'll prolly write a non angst, fully soft lauki fic bc i dont want to put kiki through more pain-
> 
> anyway, kudos and comments are appreciateddd:3


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